How To Feel Confident In Your Own Skin

Growing up, I thought that feeling comfortable in your skin was a concept only accessible to models who wore a size two and barely broke one hundred pounds. As I grow older, though, I continue to learn that being comfortable and confident in your skin is something that is available to all of us—and owning that confidence can help you achieve more in life. 

Of course, there will be times when your insecurities may get the best of you, making it a challenge to feel good about yourself. And you know what? That’s okay. Because, believe it or not, part of being comfortable in your own skin is taking accountability for your actions and emotions. I’ve made it a priority to feel more comfortable and confident with myself, and I’m dedicating this post to guiding and motivating you all to do the same.

Because we all deserve it, honestly.

How to Feel Confident in Your Own Skin

Remember that your body is far more than how it looks.

I love to run, so my algorithm often shows me other runners and athletes. These folks feel good about their bodies because of everything those vessels do for them, instead of over-simplifying them to how they look. Once I thought about the fact that my body alerts me to a threat, tells me when I’m hungry or thirsty, notifies me when it’s time to use the bathroom, and more, I realized something crucial. My body does a lot more for me than look a certain way. That, alone, is worth celebrating. That, alone, inspires confidence.

Develop a proper skincare routine.

Again, feeling good goes far beyond looking good. That said, there’s no denying that looking good may help you feel better. For instance, at 29, and I turned to an anti-aging skincare regimen to properly care for my skin. Since I started that routine, I’ve seen my face glow in a way that has me feeling more confident than in recent months. Plus, I can’t deny that there’s something about doing my skincare routine that makes me feel relaxed and at peace with myself.

Practice gratitude.

As study after study has shown, there are few ailments that a little gratitude can’t fix. In fact, practicing gratitude boasts myriad emotional, social, personality, career, and health benefits. Among these are increasing our self-esteem, making us more optimistic, and even improving decision-making. With all those new skills, it’d be kind of hard not to feel confident in your skin. An optimistic queen with high self-esteem and A1 decision-making skills? Who wouldn’t want to be her!?

Read inspiring books.

Whenever I feel uncomfortable or don’t feel like looking at myself in the mirror, I always turn to a book. Perhaps it’s because I’m a writer whose solace are words, whether her own or others. Or maybe it’s because there’s a certain inspiration that comes with reading. One of my all-time favorite recent reads is Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, which taught me to be more confident by remembering I’m the commander of my own destiny.

Find a movement that you like.

I was always super intimated by the word “exercise,” because I was a chubby girl who couldn’t even run a mile. However, I’ve recently reconceptualized “exercise” simply as movement, because that’s way less scary. Finding a movement that you like can be simple if you already know you love to walk. In my case, these movements include dancing, hiking, and running. Plus, movement and exercise have been linked to better mental health!

Give yourself compliments.

Whether you call them affirmations or mantras, you’re essentially repeating a phrase to yourself that reminds you of all the good you have to offer—and, if you ask me, that’s a compliment. I like to focus my compliments on the personal things that I do, instead of the way that I look or the work I’ve accomplished. For example, I might say to myself, “Natalie, you were really patient today, and I’m so proud of you.”

I may also remind myself that the things I’ve done, said, or believed in the past don’t determine the person I am today. As cheesy as it sounds, every moment is a choice and it’s completely up to me what I decide.

Get dressed up every once in a while.

My cousin once told me, “Nat, you need to stop dressing like a 14-year-old boy.” As rough as it was to hear, she was right. Whenever I’m feeling bent over a trash can, I make a concerted effort to provide lewks for the cameras (aka my Instagram feed). I have to say, there’s a boost to my confidence when I’m rocking a long-sleeve blouse, a long satin skirt, and white booties. Or vibrant, sunny yellow top with distressed jean shorts and my wild curly hair. Needless to say, I don’t get that confidence in my traditional jeans-and-a-T-shirt getup. (Okay, fine—my pajamas…)

Take cute photos of yourself.

While I’m usually the friend who takes pictures instead of the one who’s getting their picture taken, I love to take photos of myself when I’m all dolled up. This helps boost my confidence because I’ll look back at those pictures and remember how much fun I was having (and how cute I was looking) in that moment. 

Spend less time on social media.

I hate to admit it, but when I endlessly scroll through Instagram, it’s basically a given that I’ll have negative thoughts about my body. Inevitably, I’ll see someone and say something like, “I wish I looked like this.” If you find yourself in this camp, heed the words I say to myself: “There is nothing wrong with the way you look. Get off Instagram and you’ll believe me.” 

Write down your good deeds.

I’m someone who finds joy in helping other people in whatever way I can. This may seem altruistic, but I have to admit that there’s a selfish component—I also do it because it makes me feel good. And, at the end of the day, I’m able to look back at myself and be confident that I’m being the best me I can be. Personal growth for the win!

Take yourself out on the town.

Since it takes a lot of confidence to even go out to eat alone—what will the people say!?—it’s a good idea to take yourself on a date to get over this small fear. You’ll find that it’s not as hard to get through as it seemed and you’ll get to spend quality time with yourself. During that time, you can figure out which foods, restaurants, drinks, cities, etc. really tickle your fancy.

Give other people compliments.

This one aligns with writing down your good deeds. The main intention there is to make other people feel good by handing them a compliment. But when you help others feel good, you start to feel good about yourself, too. This creates the most beautiful cycle of joy and confidence that I’ve ever experienced.